


do (not) worry, the police is here

by evanescent



Category: Gintama
Genre: Gen, yorozuya and other characters will probably show up too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-13 07:43:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4513644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evanescent/pseuds/evanescent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hijikata reached for his sheathed katana and pulled the sword out swiftly, slicing the plastic bottle in half without as much as batting an eye. Yamazaki did <i>not</i> shriek at this this, but he might have been close to a small heart attack.</p>
<p>“See? I told you.” Hijikata put his katana back and gestured to the bottom part of the bottle. There, Yamazaki saw very little, but nevertheless, some mayonnaise left. “I can’t let it go to waste, but this is so damn annoying.”</p>
<p>Yamazaki just stared at vice-chief flatly for a long moment, replied belatedly, “Indeed,” and walked away.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>Shinsengumi drabbles & ficlets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	do (not) worry, the police is here

**Author's Note:**

> it seems i'm finally doing the thing, and by 'the thing' i mean gintama ficlets wooo
> 
> first story features hijikata, yamazaki and mayonnaise (make sure to click the link!)

Yamazaki was eating his lunch in headquarters’ canteen when he noticed vice-chief.

Hijikata was sitting a few tables away from him, passionately squeezing out the contents of a mayonnaise bottle onto his plate. After coming closer with his own tray, Yamazaki decided it would be pointless to try to guess what kind of food was under all that mayonnaise, which surely didn’t bother his superior, but for him, it was slightly unsettling.

“Vice-chief, I think it’s already empty,” Yamazaki said sympathetically, approaching Hijikata’s table.

“That’s what they want you to think,” Hijikata grumbled in an answer. Yamazaki wondered if he should ask who _they_ were, but before he could speak up again, Hijikata reached for his sheathed katana and pulled the sword out swiftly, slicing the plastic bottle in half without as much as batting an eye. Yamazaki did _not_ shriek at this this, but he might have been close to a small heart attack.

“See? I told you.” Hijikata put his katana back and gestured to the bottom part of the bottle. There, Yamazaki saw very little, but nevertheless, some mayonnaise left. “I can’t let it go to waste, but this is so damn annoying.”

Yamazaki just stared at vice-chief flatly for a long moment, replied belatedly, “Indeed,” and walked away.

…

A few days later, on a bright afternoon, Hijikata was pretty much done with the paperwork for today; he finished it quite early, since no one bothered, including Sougo with his assassination plans. (Hijikata triple-checked everything, just to make sure.) The only thing left was checking his e-mail, and there, he found a message from Yamazaki. Foreshadowing of headache rubbed at his temples; Hijikata didn’t expect anything good. Probably Yamazaki was too scared to come and say he screwed up, so he sent a mail instead.

After opening the mail, however, Hijikata was surprised to read, _Vice-chief, I stumbled upon this the other day and thought it may interest you_. There was a link attached, and so Hijikata clicked it.

He read [the article](http://www.google.com/url?q=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.bbc.com%2Fnews%2Ftechnology-33344955&sa=D&sntz=1&usg=AFQjCNG2G3MZPvoYtotxx4gonIhslYkieg) in silence.

Some time later, two lower-ranking officers came with a certain matter, but before they even got a chance to knock at the door, they heard very strange noises from the vice-chief’s office, later claiming it sounded like mad frustration of a caged animal, and so they left quickly, not daring to deal with their superior in such state.

(Hijikata was actually trying to choke back the tears of joy, but they couldn’t have known that.)

…

“I regret everything in my life that has been leading up to this moment,” Yamazaki muttered with overwhelming sense of dread building up in his stomach as he saw a mail -- _mail_ \-- from the vice-chief -- _vice-chief!_ \-- containing an alarming number of links to various mayonnaise-related things.


End file.
